I sought to find information that might better help me understand why I always felt different, and it led me to the discovery of highly sensitive persons. (This post is not meant to diagnose or treat any condition. If you have any questions about your physical or psychological state, please contact the appropriate licensed health or mental health professionals).
Are you one of the Sensitive Crowd?
A 20-question self-assessment quiz for Empaths is below. Those who agree with 15 or more of the following questions is considered a full-blown Empath, while answering yes to at least five suggests you’re a partial Empath. Signs you're highly sensitive include avoiding violent TV shows, feeling easily overwhelmed, strongly affected by hunger, and deeply moved by music or art - due to the fact that highly sensitive people notice everything that is going on around them.
1: Being labelled as ‘overly sensitive’, shy, or introverted.
2: Frequently feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
3: Arguments or yelling makes you ill.
4: You feel you don't fit in.
5: Drained by crowds and needing alone time to revive yourself.
6: Over-stimulated by noise, odours, or non-stop talkers.
7: Chemical sensitivities or can't tolerate scratchy clothes.
8: You prefer taking your own car places so you can leave early if you need to.
9: Overeating to cope with stress.
10: Fear of becoming suffocated by intimate relationships.
11: Startle easily.
12: Strong reactions to caffeine or medications.
13: A low pain threshold.
14: Tendency to socially isolate.
15: Easily absorb other people’s stress, emotions, or symptoms.
16: Overwhelmed by multitasking.
17: Enjoy replenishing in nature.
18: You need a long time to recuperate after being with difficult people or energy vampires.
19: Preference for small cities or the country over large cities.
20: Preference for one-to-one interactions or small groups rather than large gatherings.
A small, but growing body of neuro-scientific research confirms the existence of ‘highly sensitive people’ and ‘intuitive empaths' ('mature souls'). Wow right! Are you someone like me who feels deeply affected by the suffering of others? Or do you pick up easily on vibes around you? Maybe you avoid negative social media and news because of the way it affects you? What makes one person more sensitive than others, and what problems or potential advantages might we face if we are one of the more sensitive crowd?
Throughout my life I have often felt like there was something wrong with me, or I have been criticised more times than I care to remember for being ‘overly sensitive’ and told to ‘get a thicker skin’. Crowded places like the shopping centre or supermarkets with their noise and overstimulation exhaust me and cause me high levels of anxiety and stress. Once I realised I was an ‘intuitive empath’ and a 'mature soul', I felt liberated to know that there wasn’t actually anything ‘wrong’ with me at all, and I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.
A whole new exciting world opened for me once I discovered I was an intuitive empath (mature soul) - the discovery of who and what I was, and the journey of beginning to embrace that part of who I am.
A new term ‘energy psychiatry’ is used to describe how some people's mental health can be affected by subtle energies in their environment, and emerging literature is giving those who feel more deeply attuned to their environment a voice and sense of validation and empowerment.
The “empath and sensitives movement” (as it’s become known) has its own ‘lingo’ to explain and differentiate what more sensitive people experience. There are highly sensitive people (HSP) or energy absorbers for instance, empaths, intuitives, and psychics. ‘HSP's and empaths are not the same thing, while they tend to get lumped together, they’re separate (though often related) traits. Sensitive people have an increased reaction to external stimuli including other emotions, whereas empaths have a greater than usual capacity to share another's feelings - but from their own framework.
Research suggests most of us - even psychopaths - have the capacity for empathy. Orloff describes it as a spectrum with each of us sitting at different levels. “There's the middle of the spectrum which is the regular person who has empathy where their heart goes out for other people in pain or in joy. A little bit up on the spectrum are the highly sensitive people and then you have even higher on the spectrum, the empath,” she says. HSP’s are highly sensitive to all the sensory elements of the environment, including light, sound, and other sources of stimulation. Empaths possess all of that plus a high level of intuition, “They tend to be sponges who take the energy of others into their own body. It's possible and common to be both an empath and a HSP. But not all HSP’s are empaths.
While there's no true figure on empaths and HSP's, more of us are identifying with these personality types, with self-branded “empaths” trending all over social media. Unsurprisingly, females (long recognised as the more intuitive, caring of the sexes) are more prevalent members. But it's this reliance on self-reporting that invokes criticism of the “empath movement”. Does science actually back up their existence?
Genetic or learned? Orloff believes being overly empathic or sensitive can have a genetic basis. It often runs in families. For some it's related to childhood trauma. “Being raised in an abusive home strips down your boundaries so you’re raw and open,” she explains. “The world is a threatening place when you don't have supportive parenting. You process the world differently. You don't have the same filters and you're hyper-vigilant.” On her website, Aron claims high sensitivity has been misunderstood as shyness and introversion, and sometimes as neuroticism. However, about 30 per cent of HSP's are extroverts.
Gift or curse? In their 2014 study (published in ‘Brain and Behaviour’), Aron and her colleagues propose that sensory processing sensitivity evolved to enhance the survival of the species. HSP’s have an increased responsiveness to potential dangers, threats and opportunities in the environment which benefits the whole group. Think Fiver the hypersensitive rabbit in ‘Watership Down’ who alerts his warren to impending danger.
On the downside, they suggest that increased sensitivity places greater mental and metabolic demands upon such individuals. “Those with the sensitive survival strategy will always be in a minority as it would cease to yield special payoffs if it were found in a majority,” they write. On the up, empaths are more likely to enjoy music (and potentially other positive stimuli). A study by Southern Methodist University found high-empathy individuals process music differently, with higher activation of the reward and empathy system of the brain. Since intuiting her client suicide attempt, Orloff has embraced intuition as a tool to better understand and help others. She views empathy as an advanced feature important to the salvation of the human race. “Our capacity to understand what's going on in someone else, whether we like them or don't, whether we agree with them or not, is the path to peace,” she says. “I think it's the number one most important quality in humankind. It's in most people and it's to help us evolve personally. It helps us love deeply, be open to nature, the universe and to enjoy ourselves. You want to develop it but you also want to develop self-care techniques.”
The pitfalls of being energy sensitive - While generally viewed as an adaptive trait, being overly empathic or highly sensitive can have a dark side for the host. Many suffer from ‘empathic overload’ related to absorbing excess energy from their environment and other people and carrying it as if it's their own, Orloff says. Symptoms include exhaustion and sensory overload. Common health issues related to empathic overload include adrenal fatigue, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, chronic fatigue, weight problems and insomnia, she says.
Supporting this notion, research suggests that those who are more sensitive to others’ emotions may be more prone to depression. A study by psychologists at Queens University, Canada, found depressed people were significantly better than the non-depressed at correctly judging the emotions of people from pictures.
Empaths can also find relationships overwhelming and fear intimacy because of their ability to deeply feel another person’s problems and needs, Orloff says. “A lot of empaths don't know how to express their own needs in a relationship, she adds.
Unfortunately, most professionals aren't aware of the problem, she says. “Doctors and counsellors don't know it exists, much less how to treat it, but empathic overload is a very real problem to energy-sensitive people.
Self care - Orloff says it's important for empaths and HSP’s to carve out “alone time” to decrease the level of stimulation they're getting. This means learning how to set clear boundaries. Nurture yourself and take regular social media fasts and avoid distressing media of any kind. “Empaths can't take violent or scary movies. And violence against animals is just unbearable to watch or hear about,” she says.
If crowded places cause you stress, practise centring strategies before you go out, such as meditation, a blood-sugar-grounding high-protein meal and breathing exercises. Also take mini-breaks and time out if you need. Limit the time you're out.
Importantly, learn how to express your own authentic needs rather than remaining quiet. “Empaths can be a little shy and not want to offend people, so they don't say anything,” says Orloff. “If a chronic talker comes up to them in a party they'll sit there and listen for two hours and then be exhausted and sick . You have to learn how to interrupt in a polite way and deal with energy vampires. If you don't learn this, you're going to be miserable.”
Oftentimes it is the sensitive people in our culture who are ‘The Pioneers’, who are ‘The Oracles’ who see into the future and see what's coming in our culture, and we don't do them enough credit as guides to us, but instead demean them because they're different than we are. Sensitivity clearly benefits the 20%, and the 80% alike, but there's also the actuality of differential susceptibility, which means a sensitive gain more from a good environment and are most affected by a poor one. Right now, they are most noticed by the other 80% when they're being overly sensitive, those with happier histories adapt and make their valued contributions, and only those close to them know they're different and that they grew up feeling a little flawed. Whatever their background’s however, the highly sensitive see the subtle signs of what's coming and think about it deeply, more than others do. Our world is going through vast changes, some of them frightening, and many of them not clearly understood. We all need these sensitive minds and hearts.
To all HSP's I say speak out, you are in good company, we can support each other, you are not the only one.
