One thinks they have hit rock bottom…then BOOM, that bottom opens up and reveals that there is an even further down rock bottom to the previous one they had encountered…one can then usually find the strength it requires, by scraping the bottom of the barrel, to pick themselves up and continue to smile and just get on with it…when all of a sudden…BOOM…new, even further down than previously before, rock bottom opens up…and just as one thought they had scraped together the absolute last of their strength from the bottom of the barrel…one again finds more strength even further down in the bottom of that barrel with which to continue on with… But when is enough enough, and when does one just stop scraping the dregs of strength from the bottom of the barrel and just decide to ‘give up’ instead? Do you know what happens when you just give up? You free yourself, that is what happens.
After learning first hand that there is indeed a ‘beyond’ to that initial rock bottom…namely rock bottom 2 and then deeper rock bottom 3. I started to give myself panic attacks with the possibility of further rock bottoms even deeper such as 4, 5 and 6, which I learned do exist. At one point I started to question every single one of my beliefs and my entire way of life….and the answer dawned on me… It was all about my perception of things and it was all about my just needing to stop grasping so tightly to things and to just let go… and it was safe for me to just ‘let go’ you know.
After blindly (it wasn’t blindly really, just things are exposed to you at the right time along the journey) plodding through my entire life and continually coming up against brick walls, adversity and indifference, I truly had a moment where I had the opportunity to reassess my goals in life. I felt hopeless…and empty and over the physical strength…and mental and emotional energy that it takes to keep smiling and pushing through one’s life. Life has been my greatest teacher and at one moment in time I just stopped, let go and gave up. I thought that this was life and it seriously would never get any better. Then I changed my perception. I felt a shift, I had grown. My old life was breaking away – it was no longer of use to me and it no longer served a purpose to me. The old HAD to break away so that the new could begin. Oh how I rejoiced when that moment arrived, ‘OH LET THE NEW BEGIN’.
At the time I just couldn’t see the forest for the trees anymore. I used to wonder how lucky would I be? Is life a game of luck? Are some people born under a lucky star and some not? I learnt that I am indeed a very lucky person. I have learned that life doesn’t fall into our laps…we are given life and what we achieve during this life is up to us.
Today I continue on because I know that in order for newness to come I must fully let go of the things in my life that are no longer needed…and sometimes that is difficult…even though we know it is necessary.
Rock bottom is as long as you want to hold tightly to the things that no longer serve a purpose in your life!